DISCLAIMER: I'm about to get personal.


Oh, Ophelia. Poor, poor Ophelia.
Ophelia is my dear laptop. I diagnosed her with cancer when a two black spots of death showed up on her screen.
They started out small, but, like cancer sometimes does, spread rapidly until they covered much of the screen.
So I had to take her into the Geek Squad. They really know their stuff. And they are taking care of her.
She is in good hands. Anyway...the reason I am explaining this to you, is because I am using it as an excuse
for not having shared the joyous celebration of my youngest brother Nathan's 18th birthday yet.

His birthday was Friday the 26th, but the fiesta had to be a post-birthday celebration, because the whole fam damily couldn't arrive
until late-ish Friday night. We spent Saturday afternoon (after the BYU game, of course) bowling, because Nathan is one heck of a bowler.
Later, we retired to our humble abode for a fabulous grilled steak dinner, present opening session, and the best mud pie in the world.
I could only stay 24 hours, for a bunch of us had prior Sunday commitments.

Leaving my mama, papa, and Nathan is always hard after fun weekends at home, but I found this time..even harder. I'm so surprised that Nathan is 18. Can you believe that? Many of you, my kind readers, have known me for quite some time, but do you recognize the fact that Nathan was only 8 when he had his drowning accident? I'm sort of having a hard time accepting with the fact that he's been this way for more of his life than he has not. What I hate even worse, is that the older I get, the less I remember of those first 8 years of normalcy. But I do have a few memories.

I remember the time that we were fighting, and I pushed him to the ground and he slid across our hardwood floor; it gave him burns on his elbows. I immediately recognized that I'd done something regretful and apologized. He yelled "KALYNN! Do you really think SORRY will make the burns go away?!" haha. I can still hear his voice yelling those words to me.

I remember playing pirates on the bunk bed that he and Adam used to share in our house on Centennial Drive.

I remember having beanie baby wars. Each kid in my family collected them and had at least 30. We'd gather in a room, turn off all the lights, and ballistically hurl each baby individually everywhere we could, hoping to hit someone.

I remember when we would go to our "pretend grandparents'" (the Moores') house and I would bake cookies, fudge, or some other delicious dessert with Sister Moore, while he would work on a birdhouse or other wood project of sorts with Brother Moore.

I remember playing catch with him in the backyard every day, every summer. I know he'd still be playing if he could.

I remember dancing on the wall with him to N'SYNC or the Backstreet Boys. He definitely had the moves.

I remember the time when we were watching Adam's little league baseball game, and Nathan wandered around, found an interesting switch, decided to flip it, and turned out the field lights.

I remember when I used to tease him, "Nathan loves Tristan" saying it the way they do on the 3 ninjas.

I remember that the last words I ever heard him speak were, "Be safe, have fun, I love you, Kalynn."

Dear Nathan,
I love you buddy. I hope you enjoyed your 18th birthday.
I miss you everyday.
You're the main reason I want to go to BYU, you know.
I can't stand being so far away from you.
You're the best example I have in my life.
You're the sweetest boy I'll ever know.
Keep hangin' in there, kid. :) You're doing great.

Love, Kalynn.


  1. Kalynn. This is so sweet....reading this brought tears to my eyes. You have the biggest heart, and I can see that Nathen means the world to you. You are the best sister, and he knows it too. That is the saddest thing to think that he has had to be this way more his life now, but isnt it so great that we have the gospel in our lives and can look foward to be with him again in perfect form. I love you, and just reading your thoughtful posts about your brother all the time, I have grown to love him too!

  2. You are the best older sister he could ever have. I'm sure of it. this is beautiful.

  3. This brought tears to my eyes, sweet Kalynn. Nathan is the luckiest guy in the world to have you as his big sister. I'll never forget the nights in Italy when we got to call home and I got to see you tell Nate about everything we did that day. You wrote every detail of everything we did throughout the day, making sure you didn't leave any details out. You're such a great example to me, and I'm grateful for you in my life.

    Happy birthday, Nathan. I love you buddy!!