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12.18.2010

shattered glass

Considerably early this morning, some senile old guy at the Albertson's
in Salt Lake City decided that giving me bogus directions to the freeway
was on his to-do list for today.
Driving around, utterly lost, in the dark on slippery,
snowy roads at 6:30 in the morning?
Not cool.


I want to share some things with you that I have learned in my life that may subsequently help you out with yours.

One: Just because a sliding glass door looks like it's open, does not necessarily mean that it is.
Windex. works. wonders. Approach with caution
.

-How I learned this: Once upon a time, my good friend Austin Woodchip(field) was having a pre-mish going away party at his house. I'd been waiting all night long for a friend to get there. Simply put, I heard that said friend had arrived and excitedly ran to greet said friend at the door when BANNNNNGGGG!!<-------forehead-on-glass-onomatopoeia. I can really sympathize with those birds that run into my window everyday down at SUU.

Two: Never let an eight-year old cook her own dinner.
I don't care if eight is the "age of accountability" or not.
I wasn't even tall enough to see over the stove. That tells you something.

-How I learned this: A box of mac & cheese is a lot for a girl, so I saved it for the next day. When I took it out of the fridge, it was too cold to eat so I simply put some tinfoil over the container and warmed it up via microwave. Pretty much it was the 4th of July in the kitchen.

Three: When baking, remember that there is a difference between baking POWDER and baking SODA.
If you do happen to mix the two up, please take notice before giving away the finished product.


-How I learned this: pretty self explanatory. Someone did something nice for me, I wanted to give thanks....
they never did anything nice for me again.

Four: When getting into water, do so slowly.

-How I learned this: After snowboarding, I turned on the shower so it could start warming up and then went back to my room to get some clean clothes. Then I just stepped right in without testing it first. Yeah. Guess I didn't turn it on very warm. Pretty sure it was only three degrees.

Five: Common-sense, but I'll reiterate. do NOT wear Old Navy flip-flops on a rainy day, especially when walking on cement.

-How I learned this: As much as I hate to recall this traumatizing story, I shall share for your guys' benefit. On a date. Cute boy. New jacket. Middle of winter. rain. new car. hot chocolate. Boy: opens car door. Kalynn: hydroplanes on Old Navy ruber-ness; spills over new jacket; spills over boy's new car. Hot. Burns. Hot. Ouch.

I hope that helps.
Love,
Kalynn Eve.

2 comments :

  1. oweeee. when did that last one happen?! kay, oww. sorry, lady!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Kay.
    I like you. Therefore, we must play this break. Mmkay?
    Love,
    Laur.

    ReplyDelete