Dear Fat-man-in-a-{big}-red-coat,


Santa Claus- commonly mistaken for "clause", however, not to be confused with the constitutional components such as the Due Process Clause. (I would be learning more about that in a class I WAS signed up for to take next semester that WOULD have helped me towards my professional aspirations, however...I opted out for my snowboarding class instead. There is no turning down new love.) See. I know your name. Therefore, I have a few concerns I'd like to bring to your attention with the utmost urgency:

1} channel 105.1 on the radio is (usually) pretty good about playing a great festive mix. HOWEVER, as of late they seem to feel inclined to use Michael Buble's "home" and chipmunk-teeth'd Miley Cyrus' "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" in its assortment. While I love me some Mr. Buble, I'd prefer his CHRISTMAS music around this time of year. And Miley Cyrus, Christmas or not, gets the automatic thumbs-down-skip-to-the-next-song. Please assure this does not happen again.

2} You are doing a wonderful job in the snow department; there hasn't been too much this year! However, with my new ambitions of becoming a pro snowboarder, could you possibly make it so that there is a lot of snow in the mountains of Brian Head, but not a lot in the land of Cedar City? don't want to drive in it...but I do want to learn to shred it at B-head.

3} Speaking of shredding it on the snow, I need some snow pants. Just plain black ones is all I ask for. I have no money because all of that is being spent on my pass and school. mostly on my pass though, thanks to my lovely parents. :) ( I promise the plan will work mom!:) )

4} I would like to request the banning of flashing Christmas tree lights. Especially when coupled with a majority of non-flashing strands on the SAME tree. I don't know whoever decided it was cool to have only the bottom-right section of their tree flashing, but...they were wrong. It simply looks like you have annoying shortage in your wires. A shortage that leads me to epileptic tendencies. Let's keep it classy, folks.

5} Last night I made gingerbread houses with my family. (that includes Matthew.) and guess what I discovered? I hate gingerbread. I think it tastes awful. But I DO love the smell. Can you make it taste like the candles?


Kalynn in Pleasant Grove.

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