Today is Nathan's 20th birthday. Can you even believe that?! 

We're only a year apart, so of course he's 20, but it just seems so old to me. 

Do any of you remember him before his drowning accident? 

Ah, he was the sweetest kid. He was my very best friend. (still is.) 

As each year passes, it gets harder for me to believe that he has been this way for more of his life than he hasn't been this way. 

It's been a little over 11 and a half years since his accident.  

Still, I remember his voice and try to think of what he would sound like now.

I know the kinds of girls he had crushes on, and I sometimes try to imagine what kind of girls he'd be interested in now. 

He was a little cutie back then, and he's definitely still a hunk now!

Most importantly, I know he's still the same incredibly amazing person on the inside, even if he can't express it as well right now. 

I couldn't be more grateful to have Nathan as my brother. I feel so blessed. You won't ever meet anyone whose light shines brighter. 

Happy birthday, Nathan Todd!  I love you!!

p.s. Thank you all for the support you guys have shown me and my family in regards to Nathan throughout the years and even still. 

You really have no idea how much it means to us, 

and it's your examples of service and love that have helped shape who I am today. :) 

Best friend.

If only I could explain how much this human means to me. 

From going to the temple with me every week, to eating way too much popcorn, she is by my side whenever I need her. 

Simple as that.

I hope you all have a best friend like this girl. 

Attention all my single ladies:

Remember this post from two years ago?

This weekend was spent with my dear friend Jonny. Friday we went to the coolest event I've ever attended, the Monster Jam monster truck show! Watching old guys do backflips on motorcycles off crazy high jumps, enjoying pizza and dippin'dots, and getting dirt blown all over our faces as big huge trucks did donuts in an arena that was too small, made for the best night ever. And then fondue dinner and dessert with one of our good friends, Seren, and one of his mission friends on Saturday, which was followed by decorating sugar cookies and delivering them with a hug and a song to a couple of widows in his ward. Because Jon is just always wanting to serve people like that, which is just one of the many many good things about Jon. Which brings me to the single ladies part:

Okay. Um. First of all, hello to the most precious face on Earth. Dimples. Enough said.

Second of all, everything I said in that post two years ago, is still 100% true, and all of his best qualities have been enhanced to the max. Jon Walker is truly one of the best people that I know, and I couldn't mean that more. He's pee-your-pants hilarious, gives the best advice, and can do a better job than anyone else at making you feel good about yourself. Every time I leave from hanging out with Jon, I feel like I am a better person because he gives me the resolve to be a better person. He leads by example. He can see and bring out the best in anybody, I'm sure of it. Also, if you think you've met nice guys before, spend an hour with Jon and those other guys will seem like jerks. haha. He'll set a whole new standard for you!

Obviously not EVERYONE can have my best friend Jon, and whatever lucky lady does will have to pass a couple of tests before she can have my stamp of approval, but it's definitely worth the shot! ;) And for most likely a short time only...: He's available. Go get him! 

In honor of Valentine's Day.

If you've been following my blog for a while, you'll already know that the past two Valentine's Days were more than perfect for me. (You can read about them here and here.) While it's different not having a significant other on this holiday, I still absolutely love it! I went to Walmart Thursday morning to pick up some valentines for my team and friends at work, and I just loved seeing the little middle school boys buying flowers and chocolate and teddy bears for their sweet little 14 year old girlfriends. At work, a co-worker and I spent a solid 20 minutes watching a man draw hearts and messages on the windows of his wife's van. I had a couple friends get engaged that day. And the next day, I heard plenty of cute stories about how couples spent their night. I love love. I love how selfless it has to be. Watching people be in love makes me giddy. And I really love a holiday that reminds people to show others that they care about them. 

I think I spoke a little too soon when I said that no matter what happens, nothing could make this week worse than the last. But it's hard to stay mad when there are so many lovely things in the world. Sometimes it's too much to take in, and I feel like I'm going to burst. Then I remember to stop trying to hold on to things, and it makes me grateful for every single moment of my stupid, lovely little life. 

I hope you weren't a cynic on Valentine's day. It doesn't matter if you had a valentine or not! Didn't you know that in your one little heart, you can love the whole entire world?

Bad days.

Last week was not my favorite week. In fact, it was actually easily one of my least favorites. I sort of lost 2 really good friends, and I had bronchitis. Not being able to breathe AND having a mind that won't shut up at the same time can really bring you down. At the same time though, call me crazy, but weeks like last week are kind of exciting to me. They are so bad that you just know that no matter what the next week brings, it will be better. I am lucky because at the end of that awful week, I had a handful of great friends waiting for me to join in the good times. The terrible week eventually ended, and an amazing weekend began. You kind of have to be grateful for those bad days, you know? Because without them, we wouldn't know what a good day was. 

And if today is your bad day, well, I'm sorry, and don't worry. Happiness will find you again, too. :) 

Mt. Timanogos Temple. :)

Tuesday night was spent with my best friend Abigail at the temple. Going to the temple is a beautiful experience for many reasons. Not only do I get to leave feeling rejuvenated enough to take on the world ahead of me, but I also love it because I believe it is one of the most Christ-like things we can do. Even though I can only do baptisms at this point, it still feels amazing every time knowing that I got to help someone by doing something that they could not do for themselves. Jesus Christ did something for us, that none of us could do for ourselves. He made the ultimate sacrifice so that we could each be forgiven of all of our sins. I think it was President Uchtdorf who said, "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you do." Or something like that. Sometimes there will be people in life that can make you feel dirty for your mistakes, and it can really hurt...repentance can be hard, and you probably suffered a little or a lot already...but can I tell you something? Each and every one of us has short-comings; some blatantly announcing themselves to the world, others only obvious to ourselves. Some physically limiting, others mentally obstructing. Whether visible or hidden, they exist. Sometimes other peoples' mistakes will directly affect us, but I believe it is a part of charity to accept them for who they are now and move past it. Can that be hard sometimes? Absolutely. Will it be worth it? Most definitely. 

Lives and hearts CAN be changed. And President Monson promised us that as we take advantage of the Atonement, those sins will be forgiven AND forgotten. 

I'm so grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints!