Surprisingly* (notes at bottom), I have been approached by many different people
with questions about my church, and about my beliefs
(or "cult practices" to those psycho analytical deuchefags.)
So. I will clarify things. If you are unsure, post your questions,
and I will answer them to the best of my ability.
Alright. Here goes nothing.

What ARE you?
I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints;
or, in essence, a Mormon. Big shocker there, I know.
Didn't the anticipation just kill you?

Who is Joseph Smith?
Joseph Smith was the founder of the restored church, thus a prophet. As
a young boy, he was confused as to which practicing faith held true
to divine ties. While reading the Bible, He came across a verse which
explained that those who question need to pray to receive revelation of the truth.
So he went deep into the quiet woods near his house, and prayed. He was then visited by
two glorious beings: Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ; who, in valor to his severe and earnest intent,
explained to him that there was no true church, because the teachings had become to manipulated.
Joseph knew that what he had seen had heard were true (as do i) and he became the prophet of the restored
Church of Christ. He was visited by the Angel Moroni, who taught him about the Golden Plates.
He eventually was able to translate these ancience records, and the Book of Mormon was created.
{sorry this is so brief... and abridged... and colloquial...}
There's no way that happened, Kalynn....?
Umm..well...false. There is. And it did happen. Simply. Don't even
try to tell me I'm brain-washed. To those of you who have a problem with the Joseph Smith sketch,
think about this. So. Per se he was bored one day, and decided to write a book and establish his own religion
for his very own glory-trip. Okay, I can see where you're coming from. But, soon after, he began to be tarred and feathered,
his family whom he loved and treasured was put at risk. He was imprisoned in the most unfair and harsh conditions,
and starved unto the near point of death. ALright. Personally, this would probably be where I'd deliver my "jokes on me" punchline.
But he didn't. Even those who bore record of the plates themselves never denied them. Two of the three witnesses were
excommunicated for various personal reasons, and STILL testified of the truth of these great doctrines.
It's an incredible thing.
Isn't the Book of Mormon boring?
I won't lie to you. There are parts of the Book of Mormon that are pretty difficult to get through. Good things it's true,
because there is no way I could sit through a 531 pages story of death and war if I didn't feel an overpowering
validation of its truths and wonderful teachings. :) So, with that knowledge, the book is simply AMAZING.
I highly suggest you read it so you can see for yourself. Even you, Emily Cap and Jared Dahl, whether
it be in the dark of the night, or cozied in an attic. :P Just kidding. However, I have multiple copies and
I know lots of people with great insight if anyone's interested.
I'll finish later, I'mma go home to my mama now. :)
It's all about faith and testimony, kiddos.
Love, Kalynn Eve.
* I only say surprisingly, because I AM still in Utah. Who knew SUU would be filled with so many haters?


  1. seriously. who knew that could happen at SUU. I for one didn't. I wanna hear your story when you get home. hope you have a great weekend :)

  2. K you're way too good. I love you for this! You're so cute!