Today I was thinking about the last visit I had with this little guy. He was screaming at me because I wouldn't let him have a chocolate cupcake before he ate his breakfast. 

I will be the first to say that I get nostalgic for naivety. 
I miss the days of believing evil was just the arch-nemesis of happily ever after, confined to story books and Disney movies.
I wish I didn't have to worry about walking to my car alone in a dark parking lot,
or leaving my bedroom window unlocked so I can take in the natural air,
or trusting the simplest gesture of a stranger.
But while I understand the necessity for opposition in all things, it doesn't make the sting of deception any less disheartening.

When we're children, our biggest disappointment is not getting dessert when we want it. Then we come to the age in which decisions over our eating habits become dependent on our own discretion, our letdowns progress to amplify themselves immensely, and suddenly we're wishing our dilemmas were over that little cupcake. 

It's funny. Regardless of what people think, Heavenly Father has a plan. A perfect plan for every single person. And it will go on whether we believe in it or not. I love that. It comforts me to know that I don't need to worry about what I want, because it will work out in a way that gives me exactly what I need-- which is ultimately what I will want.

I love that as we live and learn to serve others, we are reciprocated those blessings. 
I love that trials of our faith simply reap a greater understanding and testimony of the Savior. 
I love that the blessings of the gospel are conditional; merciful, yet just.

See? Perfect.

Nearer, My God, To Thee.

I've been called crazy by friends a few times because whenever I have something going on in life, 

happy or sad, I talk to a lottt of people about it. Haha. 

You can call me crazy if you want to, but do you know what I think? 

I may have already said it on this blog before, but my favorite concept is this: 

Shared sorrow is half sorrow, and shared joy is double joy.

!!!

Isn't that the best?? 

That's probably my favorite thing about blogging. I love to read about everyone's lives and be excited for the good things going on for them, and pray for them when times aren't so great. 

Sometimes, though, I think the only person that can really hear me is the Lord. 

So today I drove around until I found this place that I'm deeming as my own version of the Sacred Grove, and we talked for a while.

In the times where patience would be the most beneficial, I find it a difficult and daunting task.

I often fall short of what is expected of me; of what I expect of myself.

I easily slip into feelings of inadequacy- of feeling as though I can't measure up. 

But it's all soothed with a bittersweetness; I don't want to be perfect. 

Perfect requires attention to consequences.

It inhibits the freedom to deviate along the way,

the freedom to learn for yourself what truly brings you happiness.

Thus, in all of my impatient selfishness, I can't complain with the direction in which my life is headed. 

No, sir. 

                                                                                        And you know what else?

I AM loved; by a being even greater than our own.

By a love more infinite than imaginable.

In a way more tangible than life, itself.

Oh, and YOU are too. :)

And in case you were wondering, this perfect little place is Springfield. I invite you out there for a drive sometime soon. 

Mt. Timanogos Temple. :)

Tuesday night was spent with my best friend Abigail at the temple. Going to the temple is a beautiful experience for many reasons. Not only do I get to leave feeling rejuvenated enough to take on the world ahead of me, but I also love it because I believe it is one of the most Christ-like things we can do. Even though I can only do baptisms at this point, it still feels amazing every time knowing that I got to help someone by doing something that they could not do for themselves. Jesus Christ did something for us, that none of us could do for ourselves. He made the ultimate sacrifice so that we could each be forgiven of all of our sins. I think it was President Uchtdorf who said, "Don't judge me because I sin differently than you do." Or something like that. Sometimes there will be people in life that can make you feel dirty for your mistakes, and it can really hurt...repentance can be hard, and you probably suffered a little or a lot already...but can I tell you something? Each and every one of us has short-comings; some blatantly announcing themselves to the world, others only obvious to ourselves. Some physically limiting, others mentally obstructing. Whether visible or hidden, they exist. Sometimes other peoples' mistakes will directly affect us, but I believe it is a part of charity to accept them for who they are now and move past it. Can that be hard sometimes? Absolutely. Will it be worth it? Most definitely. 

Lives and hearts CAN be changed. And President Monson promised us that as we take advantage of the Atonement, those sins will be forgiven AND forgotten. 

I'm so grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! 

Back in Primary

 

Oh, has it been ages? Did you possibly think I may have passed away the day after Valentine's Day? 

Well, I am back to tell you about my new church calling! 

Last Sunday, my bishop called me into his office and asked me to be the teacher for the Valiant 11 primary girls. 

Of course I excitedly accepted.

Yesterday was my first day in the class. It took me 5 seconds to know how much I am going to love being in there with them. They are all so beautiful and precious...they seem so young. It made me think of myself at that age, and then I knew exactly why I had been called to that age group. Ironically, that year, 11 going on 12, being in 6th grade, was the worst year for me. I was always the shyest of my friends, which I think made me seem more naive and innocent. Not only did I seem that way though, I really was. And much to my surprise, many of my friends who were once the same way, were changing really quickly. Maybe I was older than most of you by the time you learned about this stuff (I already said I was naive!), but some of my closest friends started making small changes that had major negative affects on me. Swearing, drugs, making out with guys  (haha) and little things like this seemed huge to me at the time. I was constantly uncomfortable, and getting used to it was just not an option for me. I told my friends straight up how I felt and I had to let some of them go. Isn't that funny? Now, I don't often even make a comment when a friend swears. And THAT is why I think I got this calling. To help me remember that those little things are HUGE. That was the year my testimony grew more than any other year, and hopefully I can have some sort of impact on those adorable innocent girls. 

Already after 2 hours they have made the biggest impact on me. 

Also, you all heard Matthew got his mission call to Frankfurt, Germany, right? He leaves May 16th, and is so so so excited. 

I know you want to, throw all of your advice at me for my waiting time! GO! 

I couldn't just let it go by.

Easter, I mean. 

I couldn't just let it go by without bearing my simple testimony of its importance to me.

I love my Savior. I know he lived, died on the cross for my sins; for our sins, was resurrected, and now lives again. It was an act that is utterly incomprehensible for humankind. At the same time, however, our loving Heavenly Father grants us glimpses of understanding through beautiful, sacred experiences. I'm so entirely grateful that Jesus Christ, our brother, atoned for my sins so that I can make it back to my Father in Heaven, after all I can do. 

*"and the angel answered and said unto the woman, Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified. He is not here: for he is risen, as he said."

Happy Easter.

*Matthew 28: 5-6.