Jake's parents invited me over today for Sunday dinner. I felt like this was so inspired, because as much as I love my family, I needed to get away from the whole situation for a little bit. His dad cooked the most delicious meal, and the weather was SO perfect, so we all ate outside. It was the best food, company, and view you could imagine. Jake makes my life so much better. I can't say it enough.

MONDAY THOUGHTS

Today I came across this picture from a cabin/fishing trip with some friends a few months ago. I can remember this day vividly. It was an incredible day, for no incredible reason. That's just how fishing makes me feel. 

 Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the pace of life that I forget to unwind and revel in the beauty of God's creations. There is so much to be revealed to us in those quiet moments of contemplative privacy. Things incapable of being put in words and explained to others, but things known to ourselves.

You know what I'm sayin'??

I am grateful. 

THE SHADOW PROVES THE SUNSHINE

Have you ever wanted to show someone how amazing they are? And tell them that they have an army of potential, just waiting for be directed? And then just had to sit back and sort of wait for them to figure it out on their own?

It seems like every time I turn around I've got another friend who is facing some sort of glaring trial. It saddens my heart, and I feel like I can almost feel the weight of it, and I just wish there were something I could do. Life is so hard. 

I just want all these friends of mine to know that you have been the people who have motivated me and inspired me. You've been the ones to carry me when I was weak, and forbidden me to settle. Some of you I barely know, yet you've managed to leave footprints in my life with potent trails. From the time I wake up to the time I turn in for the night, I feel full of gratitude for all of you. I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed. 

And so are you. 

Just try to remember that as you go through all these hard things. And keep God close. And remember that He purposefully and intently gave us opposition in all things. 2 Nephi 2:11. Read that. And then listen to this song by Switchfoot. And then PLEASE, sincerely, let me know if there's anything I can do for you.

There is no such thing as a lost cause.

I won't allow it.

Love you all.

Thursday, Third Day.

"Monday, one day,
Tuesday, two day,
Wednesday, what day?
Thursday, THIRD DAY!"
--Joey Tribbiani

In other words, I watch too much Friends. But then again, is there such thing as "too much" Friends? 

We're not gonna answer that...

Man, life's been crazy the last little bit. I feel like most of it is too personal to put on the ol' blog, but, in short, my dad has cancer. What started out as Melanoma skin cancer, has turned into a few tumors on one of his lungs, brain, and a few other places as well. 

This morning I escaped to the mountains to do some thinking about where my life is going, decisions I've made recently, and decisions I still need to make. 
Being in the mountains is always where I find peace.

Oh, how I wish I could carry the burdens of those who suffer. But I can't, and I'm so incredible sorry about that. 
Trust in the Savior. He's the only person who can. There really is no other way to get through this life.

Tuesday-isms.

^Today I received back a package that I mailed to a client last week. I had put my own address in both the sender and recipient spots, in case you were wondering where my mind is at lately. 

^About two years ago I got eyelash extensions for the first time, and apparently took them out the wrong way, because I've pretty much had bald eyeballs ever since. Today, however, I noticed that my eyelashes are getting full again! It's a pretty big deal.

^On Sunday, I went to my sweet friends Ashley and Justin's house for dinner/games. Oh, and Ashley also gave me a trim and put lots of blonde in my hair. (say whaaaaa?!....) I thought that would help summer come quicker, but then it snowed this morning, so...

^A clean room always makes me feel better. I don't know why I have such a hard time putting my clothes on hangers. 

^Today I met someone so genuinely kind, that it made me take a step back and want to be better. Don't you love it when people can have such a huge impact on you within 2 minutes?

Hello!

Well, apparently I haven't blogged since mid August, and here I am sitting on the edge of where 2013 meets 2014 finally taking a moment to write. Nathan was ordained as an Elder last Sunday, and on Friday he went through the temple and received his endowments! One of the things I've struggled with the most, is feeling like Nathan has had to miss out on so many experiences that so many of us are able to have here on this Earth. My heart is just so full knowing that this is not one of those experiences. Nathan was literally glowing that whole night. I've never seen him so happy or peaceful. I wish I could explain how grateful I am to not only be his sister, but to be the sibling closest to him in age. He's always been my best friend, and he has blessed my life in so many ways. 

Crazy.

Do you ever go through those times where you're just crazy about life? I hope you do! 

Things like working out regularly, being productive after work, warm weather,
 and the fact that Matthew is almost at his year mark are just a few of the things 
making me crazy about life lately.  

Sometime soon I'll take the time to show you a few of the projects I've been working on, 
but for now you should definitely take the time to listen to this new song by Hunter Hayes. 
Forget 1D. Younger girls should be crushing on singers like this.

 I know I am!

Bad days.

Last week was not my favorite week. In fact, it was actually easily one of my least favorites. I sort of lost 2 really good friends, and I had bronchitis. Not being able to breathe AND having a mind that won't shut up at the same time can really bring you down. At the same time though, call me crazy, but weeks like last week are kind of exciting to me. They are so bad that you just know that no matter what the next week brings, it will be better. I am lucky because at the end of that awful week, I had a handful of great friends waiting for me to join in the good times. The terrible week eventually ended, and an amazing weekend began. You kind of have to be grateful for those bad days, you know? Because without them, we wouldn't know what a good day was. 

And if today is your bad day, well, I'm sorry, and don't worry. Happiness will find you again, too. :) 

Happy little life.

    

There is a lot going on in my little life right now. There are a lot of possible direction changes that I am not completely sure I have any control over. Usually this lack of control causes me to be a little anxious, however I have tried to remain pretty cool and content through it all. There are times that my mind goes to a weird place when I get too worried about decisions I might have to make, but in the deepest part of me there is a confidence calming me and letting me know it will all be okay. I just know something great is in store for me at this fork in the road, and I am just drinking in all of the opportunity. I know still that I have amazing people in my life that will not let me down. There are people like all of you that are always smiling at me! (Thank you!!) Not everything going on is worth smiling about, but we smile because we can! I feel so inspired by it. I'm constantly laughing, and I just can't stop. And more importantly, I feel that for the first time in a long time, I know I have my own back. I am more determined than ever to make it. And for all of this, I am immensely grateful.

Maybe deep down my anxiety is frantically flirting will all my worry, but I wouldn't know, because up here I cannot get my head out of the happy clouds or wipe the smile off my face.

Yesterday I saw a sunflower sticking up out of the snow. Doesn't that itself just make you so happy?

Happiness.

While I still care about Matthew as much as I think is possible, let me tell you why dating someone for two whole years before they leave on a mission is one of the stupidest things I've ever done.

Sometimes the advice and words of family and prophets is given because they can see the future consequences when I cannot. Being together with Matthew was the best time of my life, and I don't regret a single minute; I just wish I would have done it differently. I didn't see anything wrong with us being together because it just felt so good. But you can't really prepare yourself for how you're going to feel when someone you've spent every day with for two years, just ups and leaves for the next two years. I was sulky and selfish, and I focused a lot on what I DIDN'T have. I seemed to only notice things I was missing out on. I was lonely and picky about who I let console me. And I was so busy being like that, that I couldn't even see all the trillions of blessings right in front of my face. Matthew has been gone for about 7 and a half months now, but I feel like I've learned more in the past couple of weeks than I have his entire mission so far. It's kind of like I woke up one day and finally saw how much I have. And that in itself is such a blessing. 

My really good friend Mike Stanley got home from his mission a couple weeks ago, and him and his family came to visit my family last night.  Between games, Mike, his brother Ben, and their dad Dave went over to the piano and started singing, and pretty soon my brothers and my dad joined in. It reminded me so much of when I was younger and my family would just sing around the piano for hours. Those guys just belting out "Hey Jude," "Let It Be," and "Hallelujah"...It was one of the happiest moments of my life and such a perfect reminder of how blessed I am. I'm so grateful to have such talented, fun, loving people in my life. I'm grateful for good, lifelong friends like the Stanley's. And especially at this time of year, I'm grateful for a loving Redeemer so that I can enjoy these blessings on Earth with the peace of knowing that I don't have to leave them behind when I leave Earth. 

Merry Christmas, everyone. I hope it'll be as happy for you as it has been for me. And if it hasn't been yet, then I invite you to LOOK for the blessings around you; I guarantee you'll find them, and they will make you so, so happy.

beautiful moments.

I think I fall a little in love with a lot of people all the time. Doing more things alone has given me more opportunities to catch people in small moments, when they think no one's looking at them. I fall in love with people absent-mindedly twirling a strand of their hair, tapping their toes, strumming their fingers on the steerling wheel, licking their thumb to turn a page in a book. All creepiness aside, I think there's something terribly beautiful about a person who is lost in a thought. And I especially love to catch someone who is looking at someone else the way I am looking at them.

I love doing video because it allows me to capture a lot of these moments forever.

5 not-so-secret secrets.

1: I miss my dear friend Abigail. 

2: I'm learning to play guitar.

3: I miss Matthew more than words can describe.

4: I am weak, but learning to get stronger.

5: I am moving to Logan in a week from tomorrow.

All of which are because God has a plan for me, and he wants me to learn and grow, and he knows that I can't do that without getting out of my comfort zone. It's crazy how quickly an invite from a sister, that would never beforehand even be considered an option, can turn into the most needed, sought after adventure that the entire Earth pushes you toward. 

Obstacles are demolished, dislikes and fears are overcome. And it feels so good to finally be on the right path.

p.s. I'm sorry I've become so bad at blogging. I promise to keep you in the loop once I make my move. 

More to come. 

Come listen to the prophet's voice.

Lately, I stress and I fuss more than usual. (which was already a lot)

I stress that I'm taking meaningless classes. I stress that Matthew is leaving soon, and I've stupidly made him my only friend. I fuss because my body aches, without quitting, and it's so weird because I feel pain in three different places in my fingers, which just tells you how much it hurts everywhere else. Is there such thing as rapid-onset-full-body-arthritis? Or is my job just getting to me?

Luckily, I know the best, nay, the one and only, hiding spot from all of these things. And today is YOUR lucky day, because I am letting you in on my secret hiding spot.

What you'll need:

a comfortable place to sit or lay

earphones

a smart phone or laptop with internet

and lds.org

When I've made all the calls that I need to for the day at work, I put my earphones in, and I turn on the General Authorities. I sometimes sit at my desk for 6 hours, typing up applications while listening to the beautiful, peaceful, hopeful words from God through his servants. At my own little desk, in my own little world, I laugh, I cry, and I smile along with the prophets of our Heavenly Father. And then I realize:

I don't need to rush through college, despite what everyone else says. Matthew is going to be the best missionary in the world, and writing him is going to be a wonderful learning, (and romantic) experience for me. And my body aches (most likely) are not permanent.

I'm not gonna lie, every talk is absolute perfection; but some were meant especially for me, exactly where I am at this point in my life. And since so many of you are in the same point of life as me, I'll give you my favorites. I invite you to feel peace.

 We are the Greatest Generation

                                L. Tom Perry

Give us This Day our Daily Bread

                                          D. Todd Christofferson

The Holy Temple-A Beacon to the World

                                  Thomas S. Monson

Face the Future with Faith

                                  Russell M. Nelson

Desire

                         Dallin H. Oaks

Your Potential, Your Privilege

                                   Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Guardians of Virtue

                             Elaine S. Dalton

Coming to Know

                             Rosemary Wixom