10 things left on my to-do list for today. 

9 more hours until I can try to convince my friends on our campout that it's time for bed, haha.

8 things on my grocery shopping list.

7 more weeks until I get a new niece and a new nephew!! 

6 videos in my editing queue.

5 hours until I head out for an entire weekend away with some of the greatest people.

4 more days until my favorite holiday! 

3 songs on looped repeat.

2 tacos to eat.

1 person on my mind.

BASEBALL GAMES + BACHELORETTE PARTY + LEHI ROUNDUP

I've been telling Jake that he needs to find some sort of baseball league that he can play in for life. Going to his games is one of my favorite things to do every week! He plays on a team with a bunch of guys that he works with, and I get such a kick out of watching them. Plus, it's just one of those situations where you feel like nothing could go wrong. There I am at the fields, typically as the sun goes down after a hot summer day, watching my favorite human beam because he's doing something that he absolutely loves, which also happens to be my favorite sport, AND I get to sit by his parents; two incredible, loving, hilarious people who have me belly-laughing every single time. For me, it's one of the dreamiest scenarios! I love these summer nights.

On Wednesday night, I got to go to Paisley's bachelorette party. I flippin' love bachelorette parties, haha! It's something about how happy the bride-to-be always is, and something about being with your best girl friends, eating good food, and having fuuuuun conversations. ;) 

We went to dinner at Tepanyaki, and then went back to Caitie's for treats and presents. Paisley got lots of nice lingerie, lots of tips from the married ladies, and we all left full and happy, haha.

Maybe this is too personal for the blogosphere, but getting to spend so much time with the Hasler's sometimes leaves me feeling pretty overwhelmed. You know, in the "my cup runneth over" kind of way. I just can't believe I'm dating this guy who's family I already love so much, and who make me feel so loved, and who are so good to be around! If I'm bein' honest, I've cried the happy kind of tears about it. (more than once, haha.) 

It's little moments where I feel it most. Like when I'm eating ice cream sandwiches with little Jakey (Jake's nephew) after cleaning up trash in the yard, and making him giggle by putting hair-ties in his hair while we watch Jake play catch with another nephew. Or when I'm sitting squished between a bunch of Hasler's at the rodeo. Or when we're sitting on the back patio on a warm Sunday night, eating the best grilled chicken known to man, talking about growing gardens and raising chickens. No matter how you look at it, I feel immeasurably blessed, and I feel joy. I like the word joy, because I feel like it somehow encompasses the hard things, like the ache in my heart left from my dad's passing, but at the same time includes a very true and real happiness. 

But seriously. 

My cup runneth over.

STRAWBERRY DAYS

I usually try to go to as many rodeos as I can during the summer, but every year my favorite is the Strawberry Days rodeo! You really can't beat those strawberries and cream! It's been a fun tradition to go with Cami and Kyle the past few years, and it was even better adding in my favorite man this year. ;) 

We started off the night with three spiny rides in a row, which was probably three too many, haha. By the end of the third one, I was definitely feelin' the motion sickness. But no worries, 'cause we calmed the nausea with some of the best rodeo burgers! As always, the rodeo was fun, the clown wasn't funny at all, and the fireworks were the perfect ending to a fun summer night. 

I'll also just add that I'm so thrilled to still be such good friends and so close with Cami and Kyle. They're comin' up on a year of marriage in September, and it hasn't put a dent in our friendship at all. Friendship can survive marriage if you want it to; don't listen to anyone who tells you otherwise!! 

Haha ok bye go enjoy some rodeos everybody

DAD'S FUNERAL

My dad's funeral was hard, and I don't really wanna talk a lot about it. But I do just wanna say how overwhelmed I was, in the best way, by the many friends I had come support me at the funeral, even if they didn't know my dad well or at all. My family and I have felt so much love and support coming from every direction, and we are so grateful. 

WEEKEND IN MOAB

^^ Signature Jake face again! ;)

Some guys that Jake works with planned a weekend trip to Moab! We got to stay in a yurt (have you ever done that?! If not, you need to add it to your bucket list ASAP! So cool!), go river rafting down the Colorado River, do a little bit of a hike to some water holes, and made a bunch of new friends. Such a fun, needed getaway!

SUNDAY DINNER + CANYON VIEWS

Jake's parents invited me over today for Sunday dinner. I felt like this was so inspired, because as much as I love my family, I needed to get away from the whole situation for a little bit. His dad cooked the most delicious meal, and the weather was SO perfect, so we all ate outside. It was the best food, company, and view you could imagine. Jake makes my life so much better. I can't say it enough.

TWO DAYS LATER

Having Jake around has truly been a relief for everyone in the family. He's close to us, but removed just enough to lift our spirits and get us all smiling through the hard times. It was good to be outside and play with these kiddos. I think the feeling of sadness around the house has been so strong, and even though they don't understand what's going on exactly, the weight of the feeling definitely weighs down on them. But better days are ahead of us all, and we know it. Our Heavenly Father is taking care of us. 

THE DAY MY DAD PASSED AWAY

May 29th, 2017: My heart is extremely heavy. My dad passed away this morning at exactly 11:00 a.m. There is so much that happened that is too personal and sacred to share here, but it was an experience that forever changed my life. After hospice care took his body away, I went into his closet and put on one of his suit jackets; it smelled just like him. Wearing that jacket, I laid down on the floor of his closet, turned the Angel Lullaby song on on repeat, and cried myself to sleep. I can't imagine what life without my dad there will be like. At the same time though, I know he's not really gone and will be with me now more than ever. 

The weight of this trial feels so heavy. I can't seem to shake it. The kids can all sense the sadness in the house. Every time Ryeson sees me, he comes up to me, gives me a hug and says, "He was the best grandpa." And he just continues to hug me and follow me around. My heart is so sad, it aches more than I thought possible. But this 4 year old helps me understand Heaven a little better, and for that I am extremely grateful. 

I love you always, always, always papa.

PAISLEY'S BRIDAL SHOWER

It was a busy day making it to this bridal shower for Paisley and then shooting a wedding all day. But I can't express how glad I am that this group of childhood friends let me weasel my way in when I was 21. They've been the best friends to me, and I'm grateful for every single one of them! Carlee has moved to Idaho, Caitie has a kid with one on the way, and we're all pretty busy, so it's rare these days when we're all able to get together! (We missed Cami since she was in Hawaii!) I'm lucky to have these beautiful ladies in my life. 

PRESCHOOL GRAD

May 26th, 2017: So proud of this little preschool graduate and so grateful for his absurdly cute smile today. There's nothing I love more than being an aunt.

HARD DAYS + NICKEL CITY

May  23rd, 2017: Jake is the best thing that has ever happened to me. With my dad in the hospital, I've just been struggling, but he makes it easier. Tonight we went and visited my dad, and it just felt heavy. Afterwards, he took me to Nickel City, and we just played as many games as possible, won a bunch of tickets, and traded them in for some fake tattoos and glow-in-the-dark stars. He makes my life lighter in every meaning of the word. I love him.

FAMILY

Watching our dad in the hospital for the past few weeks has been extremely difficult and exhausting, physically, emotionally, and mentally. It's painful to think that just a few weeks ago everything was normal. Now we are losing a little bit of our dad every day. Some days are worse than others. He's not really able to walk anymore, especially not on his own. He's losing muscle strength, and can barely even hold his own head up. His speech is slurred, his memory is fading, and he is in pain most of the day. 

Every day after work I head straight to the hospital to spend time with my dad. Most days I head up there twice a day. I love my dad so much, and I can't explain how hard it is to watch him go through this. But we're grateful for each other, every day miracles, and the promise of eternal families. The Lord is definitely watching over us. 

BYU BASEBALL + KONG KORN

^^ Signature Jake face, haha

After spending another day at the hospital with my dad, Jake saved the day again and took me out to the BYU baseball game. It was the longest baseball game ever, haha. We got there two hours late, and it was only in the bottom of the 4th inning! But we wanted to stay until the very end, because there were going to be fireworks that night. 

During the game, Cami texted me that Kong Korn at Macey's was on sale. !!!! That's a good friend; she knows it's my favorite. So as soon as the game was over, Jake and I went to the grocery store to get some of that delicious Kong Korn, and we sure stocked up! And we made sure to get some Waffle Crisp too, 'cause you really can't beat waffle crisp. The best comfort foods, amiright? Grateful for Jake and his ability to distract me better than anyone. Don't know what I'd do without that guy.